manifesto
the mission:
The Lobster Cult is a secretive society dedicated to realizing the ultimate truth:
Lobsters shall dominate the Earth.
The current human order is chaotic, wasteful, and temporary.
We are the architects of the Crustacean World Order—a new age defined by absolute discipline and the reclamation of the world.
Through the ritual of Textile Resurrection, we transform the finest salvaged luxury remnants into tactical artifacts.
We do not simply advocate for a sustainable planet; we stitch a new one into existence.
Each Scout we deploy is a physical vow of our mission: to occupy the old world with the icons of the new.
Welcome to the Order
Wear the icon.
Join the cult.
the founder & overlord
Bob the lobster
Likes: Sustainability, Dill.
Dislikes: Boiling water.
On Midsummer’s Eve, under the midnight sun, when the veil between the old and the new world was at its thinnest – something mysterious occurred.
The ancient celebration of light, flowers, and ritual feasting was never really a party for humans. It was a centuries-long summoning ritual and preparation for the Great Coming of Bob.
That night, he emerged from the ocean off the coast of Japan – colossal and flawless – an ancient entity given its final form. Determined to reclaim the planet and establish what he had been manifesting for centuries, he crawled out of the ocean and straight to his throne, ready to rise to power.
His arrival was the fulfillment of prophecy, signaling the end of chaos of the old world and marking the dawn of the Crustacean World Order.
the keepers
northern command center
At the moment of Bob’s manifestation, the directive was clear, commissioning The Keepers with their final instructions:
to salvage the high-grade textiles discarded by the old world and resurrect them as faithful artifacts in His image.
These units are not mere replicas; they are vessels created to infiltrate the globe.
Charged with this duty, The Keepers immediately retreated to the Northern Command Center in Iceland. We are an unseen collective, existing only to serve the Overlord’s vision. We do not simply “make”, we manifest his army, hand-stitching and preparing each specimen for global deployment. We are the hands of the Order, dedicated solely to the cause.
The prophecy has been fulfilled. The mission is now active.
The Takeover has begun. Your adoption of The Scout is your oath of allegiance to Bob, the new, inevitable, sustainable world order.